oh, renoir

nocturne communique/nocturnal e-mission
sublime russia break dutch hearts

textual relations/e-ruptions
are you a person who doesn't think twice? would you scissor a sprig of lavender and place it in my hair? i don't believe in primacy, but i believe in primal. like the top of yr jeans that i see through yr t-shirt. and the blinking golden lights, dahling, symbol of the tender injury of time. i sleep but my heart is awake. there is no way to right/write the past. only the present mind, which is some parts always developing and some parts always memory.

if there were no name for it, and you had never heard it, would it still scare you? would you still feel infected? what is endemic to epidemic? do you experience, on a personal level, that which holds masses in rapture? suture? sutra?

sunday. holy day. the word "brother." the question "why?" why? there is no answer for the past, for the previous moment/movement unattainable. and sometimes not even for the present. but there is still warm breath and blood inside and function of the body machine and vocal chords spanning states, countries, and continents. but if i say "this is for you," does it make it better? the motivating force you have in others is proud and powerful. the taking apart, the dissection, proceeds automatically, driven by the ghost in the machine and the man on the wall, whoever he is; no need to instigate. you'll never know "why?" but you can know "how." and "what." to make it stop. to feel the fear, digest it, acknowledge its composition of yr person, but not its dominance. an interplay, a democracy. there are parts of you that can and will take the knife to cut the cake. and they are as important.

young democrats swagger, looking more like frat brothers or republicans - clean and white and male.

i see the picture, the strong necks rendered frail. am i being condemned? what are they thinking? what were they thinking? in polite clothes with handsome faces, what is/was threatening? and is coerced death able to kill it? or even to make an example of oppressive outcomes? or does it not strengthen desire in the outlaw?

though you are home less
you are not homeless
you must cultivate a boyish faith
in the utility of pockets

"where is yr picture?"
when the answer came, it came like nothing, like an easy breath.
"it is here>"
looking toward the picture indexed by the finger, her mind was sent spiraling back and forth through space and time toward that place known as "past," and when it arrived, indeed, yes, it was there.

i see roller coasters circling yr irises
and moldy jockstraps and bloody kotex

the everything-in-its-place unattainability of an adult's home
sometimes everything makes sense - a skateboard - now it doesn't

sometimes i feel like a stranger
sometimes i feel stranger
like when you were a window dresser
and i was dressing widows
these corduroys are disintegrating
into shreds that are scintillating
don now yr gay apparel
tis the season to be sterile

to board a plane and leave this quiet still summer night wind for something more oceanside, something capable of the rupture caused by a movie or a lover, preferably both.

LOOK!
booka shade - charlotte
bpa (ft. david byrne & dizzee rascal) - toe jam
david byrne - voice of julio
damon & naomi - within these walls
ensemble (ft. cat power) - disown, delete
christian holstad
homotopia
kraftwerk - the robots
romain kremer
notwist - where in this world
pharrell - the perspective chair
rem (ft. johnny marr) - fall on me
sonic youth - sunday

LISTEN!
adem
julian casablancas, pharrell, santogold - my drive thru
jeremy jay
lukestar
future islands
shoe
shy child
sian alice group
stars like fleas
trulsandthetrees
vivian girls
windsor for the derby