oh, renoir

nocturnes:
The mind's eye begins to see sharply when eyesight declines

I wank our cocks together, rock hard, I have to stop myself from getting hypnotized by it, I want there to be only two dicks, no difference, each one loving the other’s as much as his own, no more no less

But that's what most artists do, don't they? make art out of what they want so badly to forget or can no longer remember

I wanna make you mine, and it’s such a relief

Home becomes anywhere but. perhaps this is why home, for me, is always late, in the future tense, under renovation

Multiplication of the sensitive points

I park in the flowers

I sit enthroned on yr bed with the remote control in front of the big tv. we search ourselves. the demons

I am wearing a blue and regal cable knit sweater. you are naked entirely except for a pair of marine-blue converse hi-tops you are wearing without socks. I have scissors in my fifth pocket. I pull them out and pass them to you. you know what to do. you get on yr knees and press the blades against the scratchy cloth. drag them from my navel to my neck

I'M STOPPING WASHING MY DIRTY LAUNDRY IN PRIVATE

Our first year we end up one inside the other the evening of the twenty-fourth. we go into each other's arms. electric erections. I smile above you, my not great teeth a little spaced and pointed. we kiss. we take a taxi. I don't have a car, a poorboy obviously

I play with my thoughts, hoping they'll conquer my nightmare of not being able to bring my obsessions to life, as all artists fear. I fear it now, now as I try to make hours into matter, speaking to past scenes by letting the demons play. but fail or not, how good, how rewarding it is to not mind the day passing into night, while in the company of a master I clear out the remains of a home

looking at:
bad memories written with lasers
british military style
children can imagine away pain
dsm revision petition
5-hydroxytryptophan
gossip girl - s03e05
green spaces improve health
ira koers
la roux - bulletproof (acoustic)
l-dopa
brendan lott
magnetic electricity discovered
neal medlyn
obama: letting down gay supporters?
obama to end military gay policy
russian stars urge gay acceptance
shame boosts hand-washing rate
six scents
sweet sorrow for german boy thief
veggie spider shuns meat diet
vicar who raped young boys jailed
whitehot magazine - christian siekmeier interviewed by travis jeppesen
youth cannot live without web

listening to:
dominant legs
jad fair and teenage fanclub - near to you
fever ray - here before
fever ray - stranger than kindness
billie holiday - say it isn't so
monarchy
plastic operator
that ghost
wild nothing
zola jesus